Fourth Quarter Meltdown

Eternally Optimistic.

Ric Bucher is Picking on Sacramento Kings Fans. Time to Drop Some Mufuggin Business Savvy & Tell Him How It Is

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I enjoy me some Sacramento Kings basketball.  They aren’t my team and never will be (#RipCity4Life) but there’s just something about them that makes me enjoy them a whole lot.  I can’t quite put my finger on it.

Who’s got two thumbs and is a crotchety enigma that puts up double doubles and tweets hilarious things when he’s cranky?  THIS GUY.

Who’s got two thumbs and is a crotchety enigma that puts up double doubles and tweets hilarious things when he’s cranky? THIS GUY.

So naturally, when I woke up this morning and saw that a national media personality was gettin’ all up in Sacramento’s face I got all fussy and chugged 3 cups of coffee in preparation for a  battle royale of the blogosphere.  Then I realized the national media personality was Ric Bucher.  And that he was ripping the city of Sacramento (instead of the obvious targets, the Maloofs).  Bummer.  I like Ric Bucher.

I’m not posting what he said in its entirety because it’s lumbering and long and pompous and by the time you finish reading it you’ll just wanna stop reading the internet today.  That’s no good.  Bottom line: he’s being critical of the city because the arena is too old and says that Sacramento is making a mistake in holding the team hostage.  Basically everything he says is deeply flawed or outright wrong, as outlined by SacTown Royalty.

Let’s just focus on one line from Ric Bucher’s little rant though: “Sacramento mayor Kevin Johnson made the same mistake the Orlando Magic made with Dwight Howard: if someone doesn’t want to stay, don’t keep them hostage.”

That’s where you’re wrong chump.  For starters, it’s not the same thing.  D12 is one player (a franchise player, but whatevs, still one player) and could leave the team when his contract was up.  Comparing an entire NBA franchise (especially when it’s the only professional sports team in the town) to Dwight Howard is at best, pushing it; at worst, the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard from a professional reporter. 

Secondly, there’s a difference between “holding someone hostage” and “using leverage”.  The Maloofs are world class dipshits.  Look.

That happened.  Every time I think of the Maloofs, I think of that commercial and you should too.  It perfectly outlines two things: 1). How out of touch with reality they are, and 2). They might not be the savviest of businessmen.  In line with point two, they leveraged themselves like crazy sons of bitches, including with the Kings.  In a weird way, that’s why Sacramento has leverage.  The Maloofs owe the city money.  To get out of Sacramento they need to go find a buyer desperate/dumb enough to pay off all of their debt and give them the financial upside of owning an arena (that they won’t pay for). 

There’s a difference between holding someone hostage and saying “I like our little business arrangement just the way it is.  But if you don’t, that’s cool.  Go scrounge up those millions of dollars you owe me and navigate through all of that red tape you need to get through in order to break our agreement.  But I’m not gonna help you, because I like things just the way they are.  And I’m not gonna let you leave without paying me my mufuckin money.”

That’s just the biz side of things dude.  Sacremento is just daring the Maloofs to use the leverage the claim to have but don’t.  Very few people will pay a premium on a sinking ship.  If somebody does, good on ya.  Good luck with that.

I still like Ric Bucher though.  We just don’t agree on this.  But Bucher, here’s an open invitation to settle this once and for all, in the most rational way possible.  Over a Carl’s Jr. hamburger and a $6,000 bottle of French Bordeaux (your treat).


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